Where do i begin?
If i infact have anything to say…
These always seem to be so bland.
I’m currently lying in bed, after what has been a pretty big weekend for more reasons than one.
I finished uni last week (forever) well fingers crossed i did reliant on whether or not i passed my subjects. Its terrifying and exhilarating all at the same time. I really dont know what i’m going to do with my life yet, im beginning to wonder if i ever will. I often dread the question people (well generally older people) ask me “so whats next?” i feel so useless and hopeless when i dont have a solid answer ready to spill to them- i hope one day i find that soul searching challenge. That “thing” i’m meant to be doing in life. I guess thats life though.
I also attended my first and most probably last university ball as an undergraduate student, it was Vegas themed and it was a great night! (Many people dressed up and there were some very impressive costumes) it was a great night and made me realise i have met some amazing people through uni, people i honestly will never forget. They are genuine and honest and kind hearted- the type of people you dont stumble across everyday, and i treasure every one of them and i believe that connection will always exist.
Post ball drunken antics were probably most fun, its the best ive felt in a long while and i haven’t told anyone that. THAT is something i surely will never forget and i hope the persons involved treasure it too.
Sunday was most probably my last Sunglass Hut Christmas party also, as i most likely wont be there to see another Christmas party, well fingers crossed i wont. I missed a few people who weren’t able to attend, it kind of didn’t have the same vibe. Nonetheless, it was an amazing night (despite being very ill with this cold) i still managed to drink it up and infiltrate the party (nice one b-fry ;) ). Sunglass Hut has also shaped my character i believe (be it for good or bad) i am a much more confident person because of it i believe, and trust my own judgements much more assertively than ever before. It has given me great business ethic and skills i think i’ll be able to apply for the rest of my life, however much i despise that place. I owe it something, even if that something was all self taught, it helped me emerge from my shell (my incredibly shy little shell). P.S i should confirm i’m not completely cured yet. hehe.
Currently I am extremely sick, i have been sick for 2.5 months (i confirmed how long today when revisiting the doctor) it has been this long and constant visits to the doctor with zero prescription. Today i was told my lungs are pretty seriously screwed at the moment and i’m on two cases of antibiotics (penicillin and sulfur) just to cover all bases. i’m also on a case of steroids, vitamin b12 injections and all sorts of fun things. i’m to stay out of the cold wind and away from smoke.
In other words i’m meant to become a hermit for a while. (umm i highly doubt that is goign to happen). I’m sure there are many worse people off than me, people with debilating disorders which a dose of antibiotics isn’t going to cure, and i praise and cherish those people for every day that they keep fighting (im being dramatic) but honestly. i feel like i’ve been hit by two semi trailer trucks and its a complicated cold— how would others feel. how selfish of me.
One of the main reasons i really wanted to get on top of this cold also is because i’m going to thailand in nine days. This will be my first EVER overseas trip other than (tasmania) hehe i joke, i mean i have been there, but you get my point. I’ve been to quite a few places in australia but never overseas, i know so many of you, particularly those i went to school with have travelled so wide and have learned so much of the world, i haven’t had this privledge and commitment to saving for travel as of yet, so this is honestly going to be such an exciting experience for me.
I plan for this to be the start of my traveling log. I’m going with the family this time around, but i plan next year to hopefully go to travel with the bfry, so long as we can get our acts together and get our money sitch in order. vietnam, thailand, europe. the three main places i want to travel in the next lets say 3 years.
Because i am traveling next week, and for me it is exciting i’m going to document my stay (however silly or gay or uninteresting that may be to you) i really dont care, because to me it will be important chapter and i often document most things in life (which many people dont know about me.) If you are interested, do keep your eyes peeled because it will all begin next week.
in other news ive felt a little different lately, i’m kind of worried about this particular difference i speak of, and i dont know if people are slipping away.. either because they want to or because something is changing in me. i really hope that things become settled because some of the things i’ve been feeling lately terrify me, even though i’m reassured that nothing is wrong. i cant seem to shake these feelings.
I miss quite a few people at the moment and i’m afraid i just wont have the time to catch up with them before i go away— but i’m going to try extremely hard to make the effort to. fingers crossed.
I’m excited and anticipating this holiday with all my might, there is only one thing that makes me not want to jump on a plane right this very second and thats my baby. I will miss him so much. i know its only 10 days and he is going to be fine, he probably wont even notice i’m gone and i know i’m being ridiculous, ten days may not be long in his books ( and thats ok with me) because maybe i feel slightly different about things… but i honestly will miss him every day, and not being able to just msg etc. whenever i want, it will be a big chunk for 10 days gone. I’ve gotten really close to him lately ( i think i speak more of our friendship) there are a few things which he probably doesn’t know, but sometimes i just dont know what to say or how to word it appropriately. i’m so up and down i drive myself crazy. Anyway enough about that.. we wont get in to the too personal things. (:
I’m looking forward to shopping in Thailand, i even had a dream about it the other night thats how much its on my mind. The Christmas rush is starting soon, and before we know it we are going to have a new year.
what is 2011 going to bring, i’m terrified, excited and nervous with anticipation.
i’m also hopeful however i think 2011 is going to be a big year for me.
Well fingers crossed.
Love and a cupcake.
X
Peace.
